Current mood:	tired
Entry tags:	dance

I'm a Weakling and a Klutz
I had a new experience last night. I attended a dance class which made me feel like I'd never worked out before in my entire life. I felt as weak as a newborn, and as uncoordinated as a drunk horse.

What was this class?

Pole dancing.

At first, it seemed deceptively simple. We learned a couple of standing moves. From a horse stance, we did figure 8s with our hips, and something rather similar to a Maya. Although I'm used to doing those movements, and I'm used to horse stance, I'm not used to putting them together, and I got a good burn out of it.

And then we did a few backbends with the pole. That wasn't too bad, either.

Next we sat crosslegged, our legs wrapped around the pole. We gripped the pole up over our heads, and then lifted ourselves up off the ground, so our crossed legs hovered a good foot or two off the ground.

At least, that was the theory. I couldn't budge. I strained and pulled until I thought my biceps would launch themselves off my arms and land twitching like epileptic trout on the floor, but I couldn't get my butt even an inch off the floor.

In the meanwhile, the instructor was either defying gravity or exhibiting her super powers by smoothly floating up and down.

This exercise makes chin-ups look no more physically demanding than brushing your teeth.

Then we worked on spins with the pole. I started walking clockwise, hooked my left leg around the pole as I gave a little hop, and spun my way down to kneeling on the floor. This is the only move I could do somewhat correctly. As soon as I tried walking counterclockwise, I thanked my lucky stars I wasn't a guy; every time I tried a spin from this direction, I jammed my crotch full-force and full-speed into the pole. OUCH!

Since this graceless, weakling klutz feeling is so unfamiliar to me, I feel like I must persevere and triumph over it. I think I'm going to keep taking the pole dancing--not because I can imagine myself ever doing pole dance performances (where would I do that?), but because damn, what an amazing upper body workout....

Here are a few of the many moves I cannot do: