Because Nudity is Only Skin-Deep [entries|archive|friends|userinfo] The ShanMonster [ website | The ShanMonster Page ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ archive | journal archive ]

Breathe. Breathe You Fucker! [May. 8th, 2008|12:06 am] [ Tags | asthma, gaming, links, music, performance ] [ mood | sick ] Can anyone explain to me why Paris Hilton is on the cover of the newest National Geographic magazine? I find myself strangely irked, despite already being aware of the magazine's less than stellar reputation for anthropology and other ologies. Why is the F key on my new keyboard so sticky? It feels like there's syrup on it, and I can't imagine why. The Ministry show was a blast. And even though I was wearing spectacles and was still frightfully sick with my third cold of the season (grr...), I ended up in the mosh pit for "So What". I wore my leather jacket, despite the formidable heat. I considered it training for this summer's LARP season where I'll be running around in armour. I drenched myself in my own sweat, but the jacket prevented the sweat of the unwashed others from tainting my dainty flesh. When my eye glasses floated off my head and I just managed to snatch them back from certain doom, I decided to vacate the pit and watched the rest of the show from stage right. I had an excellent view of the show from the rear, and without anyone jostling me at all. I even got to lean on a security rail. Did you know that twenty guitars were used during the show? I learned it from my vantage point, where the guitars were stabled much like horses in little guitar stalls. I suspect Ministry is soon to be no more because Al is looking remarkably like Ozzie, now. Eep. Meshuggah did a kick-ass show, too, and I stayed just on the outside edge of the roiling mosh pit for their set. This Sunday, I'm off to yet another metal show: Kill Switch Engage and Poison the Well. I blush to say I'm not terribly familiar with either band (although I enjoy KSE's cover of "Holy Diver"). And the next week is the KW Metalfest, where I'll be working the show as security and gofer. You should come to the festival. Really. ........ The other night, Rooster came to visit me from Toronto. We went to schwartzung's place and I refereed a few battles between the two of 'em. No injuries were sustained because of the boffer brawls, but somehow, mysteriously, both Rooster and snowy_kathryn sustained tendon pulls. It is a mystery. Rooster and Schwartzung also endeavoured to teach Kathryn, Amelia, and I more hand signals for the future success of our military LARPing careers. I still need a lot of work. ......... My cold still plagues me in the form of that goddamned, pesky, persistent asthma constriction of doom. I'm waiting for my lungs to stop bearing down like a woman in labour. Grr. ........ Links? Ok. Ape Genius reveals depth of animal intelligence: "Anthropologist Jill Pruetz believes she has made a landmark discovery - a species other than humans learning - and passing on - the skills to make a lethal weapon." The monkey wars are nigh. German group patents 'smell-phone': Prank calls will hit a new low with the ability to transmit farts.... Haptic Heart Beats You To Sleep: Is this a new feature on RealDolls yet? Yeah. Gotta sleep. Lungs want to kill me. link 9 comments|post comment

Sew What? [Apr. 21st, 2008|10:37 am] [ Tags | costuming, gaming, links ] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | Nurzery Rhymes - Confession ] Yesterday I purchased a big bolt of stretchy black fishnet fabric. It's not a plain fishnet, but has a slight wave pattern to it. Now I need to make stuff out of it. I really need to make some money in a big, big way, so I'm hoping to come up with some easily-made stuff (despite me knowing this is going to be a real bitch to work with) that people will want to buy. I'm thinking arm-warmers, fingerless gloves, overskirts, and the like. Do you have any other ideas I can filch consider? If I can get the stuff together, I'll set myself up with an Etsy account and begin selling like mad. I'm also planning on using other fabrics, too, but since I have a whole frigging bolt of the black fishnet, this will be the main element of many pieces. .... Do you remember those poop-pig key chains? You know, those horrid little squishy beasties that when you squeeze 'em, appear to be pooping? Well, I found a truly horrific version of it yesterday. It was a female pudendum, and when I squoze it, a nasty, slimy, white bulge erupted from betwixt the labia. It was the vilest thing I'd seen in quite some time, so of course I splurged the ten cents and gave it to schwartzung. He was suitably revolted. But then James squeezed it and licked it which was just.... Well, words can't describe just what it was, so you'll have to supply your own. .... I had a brief fighting practice last night. Somehow, I've started using my broadsword as a bastard sword, and that's gotta stop. I also got hit good and hard in the eye. It felt like my eyeball bounced off the back of my skull. I thought I'd have a shiner today, but I think I dodged it. I did end up with what looks like rugburn on my eyelid, though. Good one, schwartzung.... .... Link time. Life Before Death: Incredibly moving photo exhibit pairing pre- and post-mortem photography and brief bios. An Exhibit People Are Dying to Get Into: "Gregor Schneider, a German artist, is planning the ultimate in art: a person dying as part of the exhibition." Death Erection: A short but intriguing article. The Diesel Tree: Grow Your Own Oil: "Australian farmers in the wet tropical region of North Queensland have bought over 20,000 of these so-called diesel trees. The intention is that in 15 or so years they’ll have their very own oil mine growing on their farmland." Middle aged father branded 'hoodie' and thrown out of shopping centre for wearing hooded anorak: A baby was once evicted for a similar reason. Vladimir Demikhov: "Chronicle about experiments of Vladimir Demikhov, a Soviet scientist who made the first transplantation of a dog's heart in 1952. The experiment, aimed at finding ways of replacing portions of the human body lost through injury or disease, was pronounced Russia's "most successful". In 1946 Demikhov replaced the whole heart-lungs complex of a dog without using the apparatus of artificial circulation of blood. In 1954 he conducted a revolutionary experiment, when created a two-headed dog by grafting a puppy's head to a full-grown pooch. Then scientists even observed the process of rejuvenation of the elder dog. Shown are the two dogs before the operation, Demikhov performing operations, the puppy's head lapping up water, demonstration of the dog on a scientists' conference..." link 4 comments|post comment

DANCE! [Feb. 28th, 2008|03:15 pm] [ Tags | costuming, dance, gaming, links, performance, poi ] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Puscifer - Rev. 22:20 (Dry Martini Mix) ] After teaching my classes last night, I ended up doing some role-playing gaming online, something I haven't done in a decade or so. Just as I was wrapping up, my phone rang. It was Sara, wondering where I was. You see, last night was goth night at the Ren, and I am usually there around 23:00. Here it was, 23:30 or so, and I was nowhere to be seen. I guess the regulars were nervous! So I heeded my summons and got my arse down there. I didn't end up doing too much dancing. I was pretty shagged out. However, I did try that descension from yesterday's Danse du Jour clip three times. The first time, it worked. The next two times, I got cocky and ended up falling flat on my back good and hard, and not at all with any grace. So yeah. That move needs work, but I know I can do it.... Today's plans include figuring out what I'm going to do for my next upcoming dance performances. I still have to figure out something concrete for the Beats Antique song, and I'm still contemplating what to mix with it. The venue has lots of room, so I could do poi, if I were so inclined. It might be a good accompanying piece for the "Trinkit" dance, which I see as being half standing up, and half down on the ground, and all pretty slow and controlled. So something speedy and energetic might be nice. It would also be nice to use veil poi (or voi), but sufficient practice space is problematic. I need high ceilings. Hmm... I could go early to my Wednesday teaching gig, and use the room there. Huzzah! I've been invited to perform at a couple other events in Toronto, but I'm still hedging. I'd have to make new costumes, just because of the themes of the show, and I'm not sure I have time to complete them plus put together new dances. I also have an upcoming photo shoot with 8 Digital, and need to practice more for upcoming gigs with them. The black leather dance costume I'm working on would work well for this. Tonight, I'm back to tap class, and then I'm going to try out a breakdancing class (although I won't be able to continue, because it's during my regular wing chun slot). Oooh. I just had a cool idea for the costume I'm making. Gotta scribble it down while I'm thinking about it.... Oh yes. Inspiration. It could very well work. I'm going to need a lot of cord/lacing. Anyhow, I'll post these links, and then I'm back to work doing costuming while pounding my music deep into the recesses of my brain. 7 Abandoned Wonders of the European Union: From Deserted Castles Retrofuturistic Factories: The castle is especially beautiful. I wish I had something this amazing close by. Imagine the wonderful photo opportunities.... Google Gives All SF Homeless Free Voicemail: "A homeless person will be able to call in for his or her messages from any phone. The move by the city and the company would allow someone to be able to fill out a job application, which asks for a call back number." New Underwear Technology May Devastate U.S. Masculinity: Is it really any worse than underwire bras? link 5 comments|post comment

Reading My Own Future [Feb. 11th, 2008|02:57 pm] [ Tags | dance, gaming, gym, kung fu ] [ mood | sore ] [ music | The Decemberists - O Valencia! ] I had a busy weekend planned, but it was cut in half when I took a glorious fall during a game of dodge ball and failed at breaking my hip. I did succeed in decreasing my range of movement and increasing my personal experience with pain. Since the swelling made it feel like my hip wanted to pop out of joint, I kept myself hopped up on anti-inflammatories and skipped yesterday's kung fu seminar. My hip feels better for it. Today I can walk like a normal person, instead of shambling like a zombie pirate. Good thing, too, because I have a dance class to teach in a couple of hours. Since schwartzung and I seem to be taking turns with falls, and since there appears to be an escalation in severity, he'd better look out because his next fall shall surely kill him. So, what's coming up? More dance. I'm miffed that my floorwork class has been canceled. I was getting a great workout out of it, not to mention getting some good practice at floor transitions. Alas, but I think it was canceled because the exercises intimidated students away. It's very physically demanding. And yes, if you're not used to the exercises, you're going to be damned sore for a few days afterwards. No wonder floorwork is a dying art. People are too wussy as a rule to stick with it. That being said, not teaching the class frees up a bit more time for me to take dance classes. I've never tried tap dance before. That's what's filling the time slot, so I'll give it a go. Also, a pole routines class is beginning on Mondays (I'll start next week), and there's a drop-in ballet class fairly close to wear I teach my Wednesday class. I'll start doing that as soon as the weather gets decent enough to walk/bike in without destroying my lungs. And joining CADA should make it much easier to attend dance workshops. More kung fu. I've missed so many classes because of my asthma, but my lungs are finally starting to go back to what they should be. And the kwoon is getting a wooden dummy, so I'm looking forward to training on that. More gaming. It looks like LARP will be happening monthly. Hopefully, I won't be breaking parts of my body at every event. If you're in the Toronto area and want to play, check out Underworld. I'm the bitchy dark elf with the leather armour. More writing. I'm behind on my fiction writing, although my poetry production is way, way up from where it's been over the past decade. I'm not sure what's making me so bardlike, but I'm not going to argue with where the muse is taking me. More concerts. Henry Rollins is coming up soon. So is Ministry. I'll be at both shows. It looks like I'll be performing in a few more shows, too, but I don't have dates for them yet. More exercise. I was planning to do stair training starting today, but I'm saving my hip for tonight's dance class. If I feel fine, then every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'm going to be zooming up and down the seventeen or so stories of my building a few times to get my cardio back up to snuff. Who needs stairmasters when you live in a high-rise apartment building? And now that I have my stripper pole set up in my studio, I'm doing drive-by chin-ups and pseudo-flagpoles. Once the weather turns nice, I want to start running again, too. More costume design. I started work on a black leather dance costume a few months back, and I really want to finish it. I also have ideas in my head for more PVC and leather outfits, as well as the usual textile joy with silk, velvet, etc. More costume writing. I really need to complete my new dance costuming book and get it to print. I need money, and this is a guaranteed income, so I've got to get my arse in gear. .... Link time! Check out the trailer for the new Thai martial art flick Chocolate. Now that girl's no wuss. Mr. Urethra, Meet Mr. Anus: NSFW. And no. Just no (thanks, warren_ellis). link 4 comments|post comment

Every Little Thing That is Discovered [Feb. 6th, 2008|10:02 am] [ Tags | dance, gaming, kung fu, links, modelling ] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Skinny Puppy - Ghostman ] I have a busy week ahead of me, ranging from the mundane to the wonderful. Today's adventure begins with a visit to the dentist for a cleaning (I still have to really force myself to go, after that tooth-pulling fiasco that left me in the hospital), continues with more writing (dance organization membership stuff and promotional materials for 8 Digital), and ends with an hour of dance. Tomorrow begins with a trip to a Buddhist temple in Mississauga to celebrate the Chinese new year, continues with a dance class, and ends with kung fu training. Moving right along, I have a LARP event on Saturday where I'll be once again donning elf ears, armour, and black makeup and beating people up with a foam sword. Then I'm back to kung fu again, the next day. I've discovered a ballet school that offers drop-in classes on Wednesday nights. It's fairly close to where I teach, so when I'm through teaching eastern dance to seniors, I can work on developing my western dance background. And then maybe at next year's On the Move conference, I'll be able to participate when the instructor wants a grande jettée. I'm still looking for ways to increase my income without resorting to taking a job I'll loathe. Modeling is one of those ways. I noticed a photographer in Toronto is looking for alt models. Are you familiar with Santillo Photography? I am reluctant to work with new photographers until I'm familiar with their reputation. I either want to know more about him from someone I trust, or I want to be able to bring along an escort to ensure my safety. Ready for some links? Here you go: Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks: A crazy person decides to drink and review thirteen energy drinks over the course of a weekend. Quarter of Brits think Churchill was myth: poll: This reminds of an anecdote I heard in which a history professor was discussing WWII with a freshman class. Upon seeing utter bafflement on their faces, he asked what was wrong. "Why is it called World War Two?" asked one student. The rest of the students stared at the professor expectantly.... Talk about a serious gap in education! Pelvic floor exercises 'help men too': Pfizer likely doesn't want people to know that doing Kegels can make Viagra unnecessary for many men. Save Mom's Life, Kick Loose Deadly Tumor From Mom's Cervix While Still in Womb: Ki-ai! Cap'n Danger Baby Chute: I think I should buy one of these for my nephew. What do you think, raine_storm? Popple Cat Dog: The most creative taxidermy I think I've ever seen--as equally disgusting as it is cool. Volunteer in Canada and Abroad: I've wanted to do humanitarian work in other countries for most of my life. Maybe I'll be able to do it within the next five years. link 9 comments|post comment

Kill or Cure, and Attack of the Killer Nerd [Jan. 16th, 2008|11:16 am] [ Tags | dance, gaming, gym, kung fu ] [ mood | determined ] [ music | a fan ] For various reasons including asthma and holidays, I've not been working out regularly for over a month. Last night, I crawled back on the wagon with four hours of exercise. I started with an hour of pole dance, and that left me worried about the rest of the night. Normally, the leg section of the class goes by as easy as pie. This time, my legs were quivering and burning with lactic acid. This did not bode well. After all, when pole dance was over, I had to hustle my arse over to kung fu where the leg workout is significantly greater. And sure enough, I was to do 160 Hindu squats in a row. By the time I reached 100, I could barely get my body low to the ground. But around 130, I decided to hell with it all. I was going to do them right, and just forget how sore I was. And so I did them. In fact, for the last ten, I decided to add a jump after each squat. We played sticky hands for a while after that, and my legs were all but useless to me. I fell a lot more than usual, to be sure. I'll see how my legs hold up for me tonight when I start teaching my new session of seniors' dance classes. I'm now teaching two back-to-back on Wednesday nights. And tomorrow, I teach floorwork, then proceed directly to kung fu to die another muscley death. This is like some sort of brutal kill or cure technique, this going from sitting on my arse for a month to two to four hours of exercise a night, isn't it? .... On Saturday, after I did my Cambodian dance workshop, I donned elf ears, armour, and black makeup and went to another LARP event. I was waylaid by bandits twice, and got dragged by the ankle into the keep by party members. The setting for this event was a tournament hosted by a baron in honour of our heroic actions at the last event (where we rid a wood of some demonic evil or another). After I received by certificate of heroism, I entered all of the competitions: throwing accuracy, wits, entertainment, and a grand mélée. After all, who doesn't want to win fabulous prizes? I did decently enough at the throwing accuracy competition, but was disqualified when one of my feet slipped ahead of the line. D'oh! The wits competition was comprised of two pages of riddles and brain-teasers. My group (which I've dubbed Team Hot Chick) worked together on the answers. Next up was the entertainment competition wherein I learned I have transferable skills. I did a sword dance, balancing a boffer weapon on my head while I did a back bend and a roll-over. I felt like a huge dork while doing it, but managed to keep a straight face the whole time. One of my slaves, Elly, sang a song for her entry, and we tied for first place. In the next round of the entertainment competition, we had to perform in an entirely different style than we'd already done. The winner would be decided by audience applause. Elly chose to tell a bawdy joke. I chose to sing Dark Eyes in Russian (although my version seems a bit different from this one). When it came time for Elly's applause to be measured, she received a good round of applause. When I stood for mine, I had applause and cheering. The Baron addressed the crowd and said, "I think it is obvious who the winner is. The prize goes to Elly!" I wasn't at all surprised. The Baron had already made it abundantly clear to me that he was a racist bastard by this point. So when it came time for me to hand in my sheet with the answers to the riddles, I crossed out my name and put in the name of our sergeant, instead. (We didn't win this one, but no matter.) Up next was the grand mélée. I fought the Baron's guard, and although I lost, I think I did decently enough for myself. Frankly, I was surprised I had the energy in me to fight that long while wearing very heavy armour and face paint, especially considering I'd already spent the morning dancing in the Cambodian style. I won't say what other devious things I got up to in the game lest spies are reading this entry, but suffice it to say I'm quite pleased with the way Team Hot Chick ended the night. I think I'll be doing another event some time next month. Maybe my armour will be even closer to completion, then! See that? From left to right, it's Elly, Jun, and Di'ikh Aiah. We are the Nerd Brigade Team Hot Chick. Wanna see more? link 6 comments|post comment

If I Stop Laughing, I Might Not Pee [Dec. 24th, 2007|02:00 pm] [ Tags | gaming, links ] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Psyche - Defenseless (On the Bridge Mix) ] Links? I've got your links right here. Hindus protest use of gods on underwear by US firm: I wonder if there's a Ganesha posing pouch? Web Site Reuniting Gloves Makes Matches: "Jennifer Gooch's mission was to create a simple Web site where people could go to find their lost gloves. Even if no happy reunions ever took place, she was just content to spread a little goodwill." Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure: Need I say more? Dalai Lama "is not a call girl": The first few paragraphs are comedy gold. My Family's Meat Stuffing for a Turkey: Due to pleas for a meat stuffing this year, I'm going to try this one out. Last night's gaming session left me weak and on the verge of incontinence with laughter. Oh my dear God. This is what happened to me. Or Elisabet. I'll end up slipping into first person because I'm experiencing an identity crisis... Eventually, I'll write this up in a much better format, ( but these rough notes'll do for now. ) link 2 comments|post comment

Normalcy STILL Hasn't Ensued [Nov. 8th, 2007|10:59 am] [ Tags | dance, gaming, links, performance ] [ mood | tired ] [ music | 8 Digital - Poplife ] Thinking yesterday would be just another day, I biked off to kung fu class. On my way, it started snowing. Biking in the driving wind and snow is not one of my great pleasures in life, but I pressed on. Kung fu class wasn't particularly unusual, and just before I left, I talked about the perils of biking with a couple of my fellow students. Little did I know that I was just setting myself up for something. What would have been obvious foreshadowing in a book or movie just doesn't appear that way in real life. On the way home, while biking through even heavier wind and rain, I was hit by a U-Haul cube van. I think it was the mirror that hit me. I'm very fucking lucky, because it hit my shoulder straight on from behind while I was pedalling at a good clip. It felt like a sudden, solid shove. What does it mean that one of my very first thoughts was "I was hit harder at LARP!"? The truck immediately pulled over, and the elderly couple inside checked to see if I was ok. I was perfectly fine (not even a bruise), and told them so before saying, "Next time, give me more room!" As if there will ever be a next time. Sheesh. Anyhow, I drove away from the situation with delusions of grandeur. I am INVINCIBLE! After all, I was hit by a U-Haul and simply shrugged it off. How mighty is that? Later on, I went to my first pole dance class in about a month and a half (I couldn't before because of my work schedule), and was very pleased to see I hadn't forgotten a thing. In fact, I made advances. I can now flip completely upside down with my feet out from the pole. This needs work, admittedly, but went far to exacerbate my delusions of grandeur. A bit after class, I made my way over to schwartzung's so we could go over the set list for tonight. I'll be dancing with his band 8 Digital this evening. If you're so inclined, come check it out at Clinton's at 693 Bloor St. West in Toronto. I'm not entirely sure what time we're on or how much admission is, but we could be on as early as 8. Hanging out with the boys is always entertaining. There was pizza. There was bad porn. There was the sudden appearance of Derek wearing underwear on top of his pants. There was much profanity. James was there making weapons. He finished making a kick-ass mace out of foam that I'm hoping I get the opportunity to wield. When I left, he was working on a foam frying pan for snowy_kathryn's character. She's going to be playing a cook, and a frying pan would be the ideal weapon. I'm pretty sure she'll also be getting a couple of cleavers, too. So now I'll give you a bit of a link dump before I finish my preparations for the day. Enjoy! Traffic Lights Replaced by ... Courtesy?: Because sometimes anarchy makes life less nasty, brutish, and short. Would You Eat This Cake?: My answer is a resounding YES! Condom Song: Sort of like a Sesame Street episode for kids. Oh, those crazy Indians! Public Harm Announcement Galleries: The talented crew at Worth 1000 did it again.... Twin girl with eight limbs to have surgery: She's the cutest spider baby you ever did see! I wonder if Vishnu is the father.... Sometimes I think India gets all of the best birth defects. link 4 comments|post comment

I'm Still Waiting for Normalcy to Ensue [Nov. 5th, 2007|09:13 am] [ Tags | gaming ] [ mood | good ] [ music | a jackhammer ] My weekend was spent killing, dying, resurrecting, crying, praying, watching, freezing, laughing, fighting, hiding, and running. I supped on granola bars and sandwiches made of bologna, mustard, and Wonder Bread. I dragged/carried schwartzung around and had the back of my head kneeled upon by him while I was writhing around on branches, dirt, and tree stumps. I slept in a huge tent, translated French into English, and watched burly armoured men being stacked on top of one another in compromising positions. I wore elf ears, black makeup, and was clad all in leather armour. I shared my wineskin with priests, warriors, and a maimed giant spider. I conversed with demons and lost part of my soul. I broke a summoning circle. I had a divinely-inspired vision. I saw a fight put on pause because one of the fighters dislocated his knee. He popped it back in place, walked it off, and ten minutes later, he was fighting again. Afterwards, when we stopped at a Tim Horton's, I waited in line for the bathroom and idly wondered why the woman in front of me was looking at me so strangely. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I understood. And how was your weekend? link 1 comment|post comment

Busy Busy BIZZEE [Oct. 22nd, 2007|12:51 pm] [ Tags | costuming, gaming, links ] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Covenant - The Darkest Star ] I am in denial. I believe in my force of will. When I woke up, my nose was stuffed up and my voice very tiny. I am NOT getting sick again. I'm still not over the Thanksgiving plague. I am NOT getting sick again. NOT. So there. But, my mouth is falling apart again. That part I can't ignore. Last night, one of my fillings came out. Again. I'm glad I'm not one of those people who has tooth issues, or I'd be in a constant state of conniptions. I've had seven or eight fillings this year, and my mouth is still disintegrating. Grr.... I dreamed last night that I was conjoined or melded with several of my friends, and we kept phasing in and out of one another. We all had to walk in step, or we'd fall down. If one of us got out of phase with the others, we'd turn a misty sky blue. And then schwartzung told me he had his septum circumcised. I have no idea how that works, and didn't think to ask in my dream. Damn. Link dump? Ok. Giant Cat: I want a couple of cats like this (thanks, gha5t). Hooker raped and robbed - by justice system?: "A DEFENDANT accused of forcing a prostitute at gunpoint to have sex with him and three other men got lucky, so to speak, last week. A Philadelphia judge dropped all sex and assault charges at his preliminary hearing. Municipal Judge Teresa Carr Deni instead held the defendant on the bizarre charge of armed robbery for - get this - 'theft of services.'" Black Orchid Designs: I won $50 in gift certificates for this place. Now I want to go in person to see if there's something I want.... Chicago police murder innocent man: This pisses me off. A lot. ... The workshop with Heather Shoopman was really good. I was really really lucky in that my late bus arrived a half hour early to Toronto, so with the help of a cab, I was able to get there in time, after all. I learned some good combinations complete with ITS (Improvisational Tribal Style) cues. Although the Bhangra-style moves aren't my favourite, I know snowy_kathryn will love them to death. Afterwards, I hung out with Chris (this always spells trouble) for an hour or so, and then I ran back home to attend a stag and doe party. I took a few pictures, if you'd care to check 'em out. .... My armour production is really speeding up, but I've only just realized how damned heavy it's going to be. Holy crap. I'm going to have to do more strength training just to be able to run, fight, and hide in this stuff. What was I thinking? .... I'm mean. One of the guys in my LARP group was very tardy in getting his character background in, and when he did, he didn't bother giving his character a name. So I named him Tett Putain. You Francophones will catch the misspelled reference right away. For those of you who speak no French, this comes from Tete Putain, which translates to Fuck Head. The sad thing is, he thinks the name is very cool, and wants to go with it. No one is going to tell him what his name means, but it will surely come up at some point during the game with other players. Mwahahahaha! link 4 comments|post comment

A Story [Oct. 11th, 2007|11:38 am] [ Tags | gaming, writing ] [ mood | tired ] [ music | drilling ] I wrote until five this morning. ( Here's what I came up with. ) link 1 comment|post comment

Horny Remover [Oct. 3rd, 2007|04:33 pm] [ Tags | costuming, gaming, links ] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | construction ] I am a one-woman sweatshop. This morning I made muffins. Then I got rivets for my armour. Then I sewed two shitty tunics for game (I wish my sewing machine were working properly so I could make something that doesn't look like it was crocheted by an infant). I gathered a few Indian chemises together to potentially donate (we shall see if they're looking for anything that fancy). I also found some jewellery to give to the cause. All this stuff helps out the game, and it also helps me, because I get extra points to beef up my character. Whee! I gathered together new CDs to potentially sell to my students (they've been asking for music). I also gathered some links for you. When I say DO NOT CLICK on a couple of them, please believe me. They're that bad. The rest are ok, though. Take Back Your Time: "TAKE BACK YOUR TIME is a major U.S./Canadian initiative to challenge the epidemic of overwork, over-scheduling and time famine that now threatens our health, our families and relationships, our communities and our environment. October 24th Is Take Back Your Time Day." A Helmeted Cock: A medieval gastronomical extravaganza. Also the thing of nightmares. Hard-Hitting Ad Shows Naked Anorexic Woman: "An Italian fashion chain has stoked controversy with an advertisement featuring a naked anorexic woman. The ad, which is intended to raise awareness about eating disorders, is timed to coincide with Milan fashion week." Chimp Not a Person, Court Rules: "He's now got a human name — Matthew Hiasl Pan — but he's having trouble getting his day in court. Animal rights activists campaigning to get Pan, a 26-year-old chimpanzee, legally declared a person vowed to take their challenge to Austria's Supreme Court after a lower court threw out their latest appeal." Shenis: So girls can pee standing up, and frighten their male counterparts (thanks, Bradford). Garry Kasparov to run for president: If American politics is ruled by retired actors, Russian politics may soon be run by chess gurus. Lily Cole: Like a Painting: Beautiful fashion photo series from two years ago. Artists Built Secret Apartment in Mall: No mention if the security guards who found it were zombies or not (thanks, Benoit). I'm warning you. DO NOT CLICK the following links, which are in no way, shape, or form safe for work or your appetite: Two Girls One Cup (thanks, schwartzung, for ruining my morning) and No no no!!!! Ok. You can breathe now. link 10 comments|post comment

Character Background [Oct. 1st, 2007|10:16 pm] [ Tags | costuming, dance, gaming, performance ] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Dave and Kathryn speaking ] Today was a very busy day, filled with writing, the sewing of leather, and dance. I wrote a character background, began piecing together my leather armour, and taught one dance class, one mini workshop, and performed one drum solo. The crowd was very tough, performance-wise, but very receptive, when it came time to teach them some basic dance moves. The sewing was especially tough. I'm sewing leather by hand, and broke two needles in the process. My finger and thumb pads are feeling pretty tender, and typing is filled with extra sensation. .... I wrote a quick and dirty character background for an upcoming game. If you'd care to read the beginning of Di'ikh Aiah (Deek Eye-Uh), ( Read after the cut ) link 2 comments|post comment

The Descent into Dorkdom [Sep. 26th, 2007|05:14 pm] [ Tags | costuming, gaming ] [ mood | busy ] [ music | :wumpscut: - All Cried Out ] My descent into dorkiness is accelerating. I am now the proud owner of spirit gum and elf ears. I continue boiling leather for my armour, and I made a foam boffer staff on the weekend. It looks like the Underworld event will be taking place much further away than originally planned, which likely means I'll be riding the Greyhound bus and a subway while wearing armour and lugging around a whole wack of foam weapons. Does it get any geekier? Yes, yes it does. I haven't turned into that guy in the box from Trekkers. ... so far. In other news, I'm going to the Renn tonight all dressed up in Steampunky goodness. Won't you come, too? There's going to be a fashion show. I'm not in it, but I'll be wearing a wonderful outfit from Queen of Heart Costumes. Pictures are forthcoming, I dearly hope. Who needs fandom when you can dress up for the sake of dressing up? .... Links? Ok! There Are No Ugly Women: Not that I think any of these women were ugly in the first place, but check out the before and afters.... Spider Cat: Does whatever a spider can (thanks, zombienought). Where Vehicles are Left to Die: Like rusting elephant graveyards. link 9 comments|post comment

Philth [Aug. 27th, 2007|11:22 am] [ Tags | gaming, links ] [ mood | tired ] [ music | construction and traffic ] I'm looking forward to the opportunity of sneaking around the woods, scaring the crap out of people (and having them scare the crap out of me). It looks like I'll be playing Underworld.... Monkeys Use 'Baby Talk' With Infants: I thought this was pretty interesting. I think I've seen baby talk amongst other critters, too. Chinchillas talk to their babies with strange little sounds, for example. Titty Terror: NSFW. Boobs of doom in comic book form (thanks, Bradford). Fart Porn: NSFW in so many ways. What's This?: NSFW like mad. Images that Changed the World: Influential photography, but I'm noting a lack of important old stuff, like the burning Hindenburgh, for instance.... Moan My IP: Just bizarre. Australian Woman Killed By Amorous Camel: One hump or two? Giant Interstellar Void Baffles Astronomers, Receives Boring Name: Scientists find nothing (thanks, doyce). The Thirty-six (plus one) Dramatic Situations: "Georges Polti says that all stories boil down to just 36 dramatic situations and takeoffs of those situations. Somebody else out there added #37. If you're stuck for a situation, try this." link 2 comments|post comment

So Tired [Aug. 18th, 2007|05:51 pm] [ Tags | gaming, photos ] [ mood | exanimate ] [ music | Tool - Wings for Marie (Part I) ] I just found a picture taken on Wednesday night. To the left is some guy named Brandon. I don't know him. The weirdo with the devil horns and red-tipped hair is me. The guy in leather is Kris. We're both drinking terrible beer. I'll never buy Lucky beer again. From the looks of Kris, he might not, either. Naa.... He'll keep getting it, so long as it's $2.50 a pop. Kris was my knight in shining leather, doing more than his fair share to keep my drunk "boyfriend" off me. Mr. Loverpants kept trying to rub himself on me the whole night. Eugh. I spent today working at the costume shop, getting familiar with the cash system and doing sewing repairs. I'm very zonked, because I was up gaming very late last night (with a most traumatic in-game incident), and received scant amounts of sleep. I might be gaming again tonight. I'm awfully zombified, though. Uh oh.... link 3 comments|post comment

The Battle on the Field of Ashur [Aug. 5th, 2007|05:40 pm] [ Tags | gaming, writing ] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Assemblage 23 - Sorry ] The fields outside of Ashur served as a staging area. Enemy forces gathered in preparation for the larger battle to be fought at Megiddo. From my vantage point, I counted five angels and 20,000 human warriors. While Lucifer held the current advantage at Megiddo, these troops would sway the balance. We were vastly outnumbered. I was accompanied by only four hundred men and Casselo, the Maker of Fleas. Although I knew we needed to stop this army, our options were limited. What could four hundred do against 20,000? What could Casselo and I do against those other five? I watched as supplies trickled in from the city of Ashur. An abundance of food was needed to feed that many men. The caravans of grain, oil, and beer seemed endless. And then I knew that if I stopped the supply line, I would prevent the forces from marching on Megiddo. I conferred with Casselo, and together we came up with a plan. I summoned mice and rats, and Casselo called forth the fleas. There were many. I watched as the foothills swarmed with life. The fleas had always eaten dust and droppings, but that was about to change. With a word from Casselo, the fleas jumped onto the rodents, burrowed deep into fur, and gorged themselves on blood. Mouse and rat squeaked and scratched, but they held their position before me. I kept them swarming around me for hours, refusing them food, waiting for night to fall. And when the last red glow seeped from the sky, I launched my offensive. A stream of grey and black fur poured into the valley below with its sleeping men and hobbled camels. Ravenous, the mice and rats descended upon them, devouring grain and fouling beer and oil. Rats chewed their way into tents where the fleas abandoned their furry hosts. Corrupted by their diet of dung and blood, when the fleas bit the men, they spread disease. Stung by flea bites, the men pulled themselves from sleep. They kicked at the hordes of rats and mice, slashing with sword and crushing life underfoot, but the damage had already been done. Even as their angels summoned cats and birds of prey, even as they slaughtered our small force of fighting men, they acted too late. Their supplies were decimated, and although they did not yet realize it, most of the men would not survive the march. Weakened by hunger, almost 15,000 men died of plague before they got halfway to Megiddo. link 4 comments|post comment

An Obvious Mutation [Aug. 1st, 2007|09:20 pm] [ Tags | gaming, writing ] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | the fan ] This story is dedicated to snowy_kathryn (who wanted game porn), and to professormass (who started the wild and wacky meme that instigated my return to pornographic writing). I hesitate to call this erotica. You may want to read this first for a little bit of back story. Ak-Boul / Malicus. ( Abandon hope all ye who enter here. ) link 2 comments|post comment

This Ain't No Threnody [Jul. 25th, 2007|01:10 pm] [ Tags | gaming, writing ] raine_storm got married yesterday! Yes, my sister is finally an honest woman. .... Do you know how to generate indices within an OpenOffice document? I know I can do it by hand, but that's an enormous task, and there's got to be a tool out there to facilitate the process. .... I almost got creamed by a bus yesterday on the way to kung fu. It was very, very, VERY close, and the adrenaline rush was a hell of a way to start a workout. Still, let's not do that again for a long, long time, ok? I still continue to write the Margd story (>160 pages now), and I'm finding little discrepancies which are indicative of some dreadful plot, I'm sure. I've got little post-it notes all over the place, with reminders for me to check on these problems in-game. If I get the chance. Yeah. I'm a huge nerd. I know. .... I'm on another nonfiction kick, lately. I just finished up with a biography on Erzsabet Bathory (Countess Dracula by Tony Thorne), and now I'm onto a John Douglas book (The Cases That Haunt Us) and The Trial of Gilles de Rais. At some point, I'll have to remember to read something cheery, just to keep things balanced. .... My glasses are getting in worse condition on a daily basis. It's difficult to see properly, so I finally set up an appointment for an eye examination. New glasses are going to be très chère, though. ..... Tonight I'm off to a CD release party for Delica and PsiVamp. It's at Club Renn. Wanna come with? link 6 comments|post comment

Salt [Jul. 18th, 2007|01:22 pm] [ Tags | dreams, gaming, links, music, writing ] [ mood | bittersweet ] [ music | VNV Nation - Illusion ] I woke up in a delicious state of melancholy. That may sound incongruous, but sometimes it is delicious to wallow in unfamiliar emotions. I suspect this one is a product of yesterday's writing extravaganza. I wrote about twenty pages, which is pretty darned good, for me. And I awoke from a bizarre dream where I was Jean-Luc Picard running away from Locutus of Borg. The dream ended with Picard/me hiding in a cramped closet under a pile of rust-coloured lab coats as Locutus drew near. I'm a huge nerd even in my sleep. I've not a clue what spurred me to dream of Locutus and Picard. I haven't watched Star Trek in years (I think it speaks volumes that I still think of The Next Generation as a new television show). But I suppose the situation is a natural progression of the Elisabet/Margd dynamic I've been immersing myself in for the past year. I've also been listening to real downer music for the past two days, too, which is most assuredly contributing. Is it just me, or is "Old" by Assemblage 23 one of the saddest, woe-is-me songs I've heard since I was a teen and listening to Depeche Mode's "Blasphemous Rumours"? Oh dear god. Don't let me turn into a mopey goth. f00dave was having dreams, too. I woke up far too early this morning to his tossing, turning, and moaning. He was having dreams of a huge tattoo on his arm and body, then would wake up to see the tattoo was smaller, then would wake up again to see the tattoo smaller still. Eventually he woke up for real, and there was no tattoo at all, of course. When he finally got up, he was exhausted. Anyhow, time for some links. Ability to listen to 2 things at once is largely inherited, says twin study: Very interesting. Several years ago, completely vexed at my inability to hear movie dialogue or properly understand what people were saying to me, f00dave sent me off to have my hearing checked. When I was tested, it ended up that I have very keen hearing. My ears are far sharper than the vast majority of people's. So why can't I understand what people are saying? This article offers a pretty good explanation (thanks, f00dave). Wildlife Photography by Steve Bloom: These are truly remarkable shots. The photo of birds at a misty watering hole is one of the most beautiful photos I've ever seen. It boggles me that this man has been lucky and skilled enough to capture these incredible moments. How, for instance, did he ever get that picture of the eagles? Mr. Lee - Photo Tour: Now these photos I do understand. They were taken by a cat as he wandered throughout the day. Rare condition gives toddler super strength: "Liam Hoekstra was hanging upside down by his feet when he performed an inverted sit-up, his shirt falling away to expose rippled abdominal muscles. It was a display of raw power one might expect to see from an Olympic gymnast. Liam is 19 months old." link 2 comments|post comment

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