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The ShanMonster

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KW MetalFest begins tomorrow! [May. 16th, 2008|12:38 am]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | busy]
[music |A Perfect Circle - Pet]

I've been kept very busy, lately. Very busy indeed.

This is one of the biggest reasons.

[KW MetalFest]

Yes, KW MetalFest 2008 is almost here, and here are a couple more notes to keep you in the loop.

1. Tickets are available in advance for the special rate of $30 for both days. Remember, if you buy ‘em at the door, they’ll cost you more. To get the advance discount rate, you must purchase your tickets at The Catacombs on 90 Queen St. South in Kitchener.
2. KW MetalFest doors open at 3:30 pm each day.
3. Hellmass will now be playing on Saturday at the Howard Johnson Hotel at 1333 Weber Street East.
4. Remember, Sunday’s performances have changed venues. They will be held at The Gig Theatre on 137 Ontario St. in Kitchener.

For more information, go visit KW MetalFest.

See you in the pit....
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Breathe. Breathe You Fucker! [May. 8th, 2008|12:06 am]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[mood | sick]

Can anyone explain to me why Paris Hilton is on the cover of the newest National Geographic magazine? I find myself strangely irked, despite already being aware of the magazine's less than stellar reputation for anthropology and other ologies.

Why is the F key on my new keyboard so sticky? It feels like there's syrup on it, and I can't imagine why.

The Ministry show was a blast. And even though I was wearing spectacles and was still frightfully sick with my third cold of the season (grr...), I ended up in the mosh pit for "So What". I wore my leather jacket, despite the formidable heat. I considered it training for this summer's LARP season where I'll be running around in armour. I drenched myself in my own sweat, but the jacket prevented the sweat of the unwashed others from tainting my dainty flesh. When my eye glasses floated off my head and I just managed to snatch them back from certain doom, I decided to vacate the pit and watched the rest of the show from stage right. I had an excellent view of the show from the rear, and without anyone jostling me at all. I even got to lean on a security rail. Did you know that twenty guitars were used during the show? I learned it from my vantage point, where the guitars were stabled much like horses in little guitar stalls.

I suspect Ministry is soon to be no more because Al is looking remarkably like Ozzie, now. Eep.

Meshuggah did a kick-ass show, too, and I stayed just on the outside edge of the roiling mosh pit for their set.

This Sunday, I'm off to yet another metal show: Kill Switch Engage and Poison the Well. I blush to say I'm not terribly familiar with either band (although I enjoy KSE's cover of "Holy Diver").

And the next week is the KW Metalfest, where I'll be working the show as security and gofer. You should come to the festival. Really.

........

The other night, Rooster came to visit me from Toronto. We went to [info]schwartzung's place and I refereed a few battles between the two of 'em. No injuries were sustained because of the boffer brawls, but somehow, mysteriously, both Rooster and [info]snowy_kathryn sustained tendon pulls. It is a mystery.

Rooster and Schwartzung also endeavoured to teach Kathryn, Amelia, and I more hand signals for the future success of our military LARPing careers.

I still need a lot of work.

.........

My cold still plagues me in the form of that goddamned, pesky, persistent asthma constriction of doom. I'm waiting for my lungs to stop bearing down like a woman in labour. Grr.

........

Links? Ok.

Ape Genius reveals depth of animal intelligence: "Anthropologist Jill Pruetz believes she has made a landmark discovery - a species other than humans learning - and passing on - the skills to make a lethal weapon." The monkey wars are nigh.

German group patents 'smell-phone': Prank calls will hit a new low with the ability to transmit farts....

Haptic Heart Beats You To Sleep: Is this a new feature on RealDolls yet?

Yeah. Gotta sleep. Lungs want to kill me.
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Just In.... [Apr. 22nd, 2008|04:36 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood | gotta pee!]
[music |traffic]

This is the only photo I've seen from my weekend performance (as taken by Anka Dolhun)....

Poi backbend
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Outversion: A Review of Inversion:Rewind [Apr. 21st, 2008|08:43 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[mood | thankful]
[music |Wade Robson - I Question Mark]

April 19, St.-Stephen-in-the-Fields Church, Toronto

I have to admit, when I first heard the concept for Inversion: Rewind show, I was dubious. I thought people would quickly sicken of hearing Beats Antique's "Trinkit" more than a half-dozen times in less than two hours. But then I saw the radically different interpretations, and I was won over. It was an incredible show, filled with stellar performances in a wide array of styles. No two interpretations were even slightly similar. Accents in the song which demanded I place special emphasis on them in my dance were completely ignored by other dancers who found their own key points. I danced with poi. One troupe danced with hats. Another dancer with an umbrella. Another with a puppet and a huge paper hoop skirt. One with a chair and spider-like hand movements. We were all different, and we somehow made the song different. After the show, I heard many people say they hadn't even realized we were using the same music until well into the second act.

And it wasn't just the dancers who were great, and who made this my all-time favourite belly dance gig.
  • It was the venue. St.-Stephen-in-the-Fields church is a gorgeous space. Although I am a distinctly irreligious person, the stained glass, impressive pipe organ, and soaring arches provided a warm ambience and intimate venue.
  • It was the acoustics. The vaulted ceilings and size of the room made the sound resonate in the warmest fashion.
  • It was the costuming. Great care had been taken with what the dancers were wearing. Outfits were well-matched with performance pieces, and in the instance of Maryfer's crazy hoop skirt, integral to the dance.
  • It was the audience. In performance, I personally find a form of symbiosis. If either the performer or audience doesn't do their job, the performance loses something. At Inversion: Rewind, both audience and performers did their job beautifully. Even when I was under the blinding spotlights, when I couldn't see the people filling the seats, I knew they were there. I could feel their spellbound attention directed at me, and I soaked it up greedily, pulling it into myself and directing it right back out at them in the form of my dance. And when I stood backstage and watched the other performances, I could see the same thing was happening with the other dancers. The audience was jubilant and exuberant with the joyous performances, and hushed and reverent with the more reflective dances.


And as for my own performance? This is my third time dancing at one of Audra's events, and the previous two times, I felt off. The first time, I was dancing on a badly sprained ankle. The second time, I just wasn't connecting with my music in a way that felt natural to me. This time around, I'm ok with what I did. "Trinkit" is admittedly not my favourite piece to dance to, and after almost two hundred listenings of the song (no exaggeration. My iTunes says I listened to it 178 times, and that's not including the times I listed to it on my iPod), I'll be perfectly fine with never hearing it again for a few years. It's not the most ideal song for me to spin poi to, but the glitchiness of the tune let me hit a few beats to maximum effect (gotta love that double kick change near the end).

In contrast, I only listened to my other song a couple dozen times at most, and it was far less challenging for me, even if the dance I did to it was far more complex. I chose "Orca" by Wintersleep at the eleventh hour, and beyond a bit of visualizing in my chair to the song, didn't practice to the piece at all. But I didn't need to. I've been thinking about this song for over a year. The song speaks to me, tells me to dance to it in a very particular fashion, and does so in no uncertain terms. And so I complied, filling the space around me with what I was feeling internally. The song switches between soft, plaintive singing to harsh crescendos, so I danced it in two corresponding styles. I kept the floorwork soft and slow for the quiet parts of the song, and added a violent sort of martial arts and zaar fusion to the aggressive bits. I rationed out my eye contact with the audience for maximum effect. I floated off the floor, hovering just off the stage with the power of my thighs. I raked my hair across my face. I kicked. I clenched fists. I buried my face in my hands. And when the applause struck me, I was grateful.

It is for moments like these that I dance.
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All This, and I Sometimes Dance, Too [Apr. 18th, 2008|04:06 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | thirsty]
[music |32crash - Isomodia]

If you're in Toronto tomorrow night, please come see Inversion: Rewind.

I'll be doing two performances, an odd little poi piece to "Trinkit" by Beats Antique, and a more emotionally draining piece (to me, at least) to "Orca" by Wintersleep. And I'll be debuting a swank new costume (black and grey with garters, choli, short-shorts, and flared leggings).

It's bound to be an interesting evening, showcasing the talents of a diverse group of alternative tribal and fusion belly dancers.



And on Sunday, I'll be back in Kitchener teaching a mini lesson in belly dance at Impact Movement Studios (161 King St. West, upstairs). The event runs from 11-2, is only five bucks, and you can pick and choose which classes you want to take (everything from pole dance to tango to swing to belly dance). There's no need to preregister. You can just show up. I think I'm on around 1.



I continue to teach drop-in classes at Impact. I teach Mondays at 6pm, and starting on May 2nd, I'll also be teaching on Fridays at 6pm. Classes are $10 each, and again, there's no need to pre-register. Just show up, and we'll work on whatever strikes my fancy (it's a technique class with freestyle dancing at the end).
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Not Just Another Song and Dance Act [Apr. 15th, 2008|01:42 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood | busy]
[music |Left Spine Down - Hang Up]

In case I haven't mentioned, I've been extremely busy, ( even for me. )
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I am the New Techno Viking [Mar. 31st, 2008|03:27 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood | busy]
[music |rain]

The weekend was a blast. I went to [info]shbe and [info]tailchaser's stag and doe party, where I decorated and performed. I wore a crazy technicolour Viking outfit (holographic dress, a mish-mash of various cultural jewellery, braids, a fluffy white sheepskin, hip scarf, Spanish silver belt, and what I call my gay Viking orgy hat). Then I danced to "Indiscrete" by Qntal, starting off with poi, dumping those and dancing solo, then grabbing a dagger and ending the performance with a pyrotechnic flash. Huzzah! It seemed to go over well, despite me looking like an utter goof and having never heard the music prior to the night before.

Afterwards (once the fire and dagger were put safely away), I got right and utterly wasted on beer, screwdrivers, whiskey, and vodka. On realizing I was staggering around and hoping to start bar fights, I drank enough water to submerge a submarine, and was fine a half hour or so later. Two days later, I'm still peeing like a race horse. I drank a LOT of water....

Want some links? Here you go!

How to be a Scene Kid: Includes such great advice as "Scene kids should listen to 'Conway Twitty', 'Jimmy Buffet', 'Harry Chapin' and 'Brook Benton'," and "Add extra letters to many of your words. For example: 'rawwr' 'kiiid' 'kayyy' 'baaby'."

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out Across Mexico: Ok, I understand that people don't like emo kids, but rioting over it? Hmm.

*barf*: Clamato beer? No.

USB Humping Dogs: I don't get it.

Ken Lee - Bulgarian Idol: Bwahahahaha!

Velvet Worm Juice: Now that's just too weird (thanks, [info]shbe).

Rachachuros Seasoning: Pig: Necrophiliac bestiality cuisine ads. Just plain bizarre.

Naughty Nads: Kitties.

Appendix Removed Through Vagina: That sounds rather complicated, to me (thanks, [info]gha5t).
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Stuff and Nonsense [Mar. 12th, 2008|11:49 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[mood | asthma-hound chihuahua]

Today will be a day of leather, cleaning, and dance. James is coming over at some point to do armour stuff with me.

On Friday, I'll be auditioning for a burlesque show. I may be performing at yet another burlesque show in June. I keep myself busy.

Oh, yes! Yesterday, I received the good news that I'll be teaching more dance classes for good money. Huzzah!

Check out these links.

Futility Closet: My new favourite mailing list. It sends me all sorts of trivia, such as these:

  • "Quite recently in China fifteen wooden idols were tried and condemned to decapitation for having caused the death of a man of high military rank. On complaint of the family of the deceased the viceroy residing at Fouchow ordered the culprits to be taken out of the temple and brought before the criminal court of that city, which after due process of law sentenced them to have their heads severed from their bodies and then to be thrown into a pond. The execution is reported to have taken place in the presence of a large concourse of approving spectators and 'amid the loud execrations of the masses,' who seem in their excitement to have 'lost their heads' as well as the hapless deities." – E.P. Evans, The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals, 1906
  • – A.C. Orr, Literary Digest, 1906
  • "In 1991 Harvard's music library discovered a lost canon of Mozart, the composer who Leonard Bernstein said offers 'the spirit of compassion, of universal love, even of suffering — a spirit that knows no age, that belongs to all ages.'
    It's called 'Lick Me in the Ass.'"



Stormhunter: A storm chaser who lives in the same part of the world as I do. I need to meet this guy!

Spite House: Four stories tall, 100 feet long, and just five feet wide, Spite House was built out of, well, spite.

Gender differences in language appear biological: Does this explain why I feel smarter on paper than I do in person (thanks, [info]f00dave)?

AP probe finds drugs in drinking water: "A vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows" (thanks, [info]warren_ellis).

The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time: Pretty good points are made, here. Move over, Chuck Norris. Jackson and Roosevelt make you look like a pussy (thanks, [info]tdj).

Nanaimo, The Google Capital of the World: No longer just known for its tasty bars, its now going to be known for its Big Brotherness.

Do the Test: I passed (thanks, [info]gha5t).
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DANCE! [Feb. 28th, 2008|03:15 pm]
[Tags|, , , , , ]
[mood | creative]
[music |Puscifer - Rev. 22:20 (Dry Martini Mix)]

After teaching my classes last night, I ended up doing some role-playing gaming online, something I haven't done in a decade or so. Just as I was wrapping up, my phone rang. It was Sara, wondering where I was. You see, last night was goth night at the Ren, and I am usually there around 23:00. Here it was, 23:30 or so, and I was nowhere to be seen. I guess the regulars were nervous! So I heeded my summons and got my arse down there.

I didn't end up doing too much dancing. I was pretty shagged out. However, I did try that descension from yesterday's Danse du Jour clip three times. The first time, it worked. The next two times, I got cocky and ended up falling flat on my back good and hard, and not at all with any grace. So yeah. That move needs work, but I know I can do it....

Today's plans include figuring out what I'm going to do for my next upcoming dance performances. I still have to figure out something concrete for the Beats Antique song, and I'm still contemplating what to mix with it. The venue has lots of room, so I could do poi, if I were so inclined. It might be a good accompanying piece for the "Trinkit" dance, which I see as being half standing up, and half down on the ground, and all pretty slow and controlled. So something speedy and energetic might be nice.

It would also be nice to use veil poi (or voi), but sufficient practice space is problematic. I need high ceilings. Hmm... I could go early to my Wednesday teaching gig, and use the room there. Huzzah!

I've been invited to perform at a couple other events in Toronto, but I'm still hedging. I'd have to make new costumes, just because of the themes of the show, and I'm not sure I have time to complete them plus put together new dances.

I also have an upcoming photo shoot with 8 Digital, and need to practice more for upcoming gigs with them. The black leather dance costume I'm working on would work well for this.

Tonight, I'm back to tap class, and then I'm going to try out a breakdancing class (although I won't be able to continue, because it's during my regular wing chun slot).

Oooh. I just had a cool idea for the costume I'm making. Gotta scribble it down while I'm thinking about it....

Oh yes. Inspiration. It could very well work. I'm going to need a lot of cord/lacing. Anyhow, I'll post these links, and then I'm back to work doing costuming while pounding my music deep into the recesses of my brain.

7 Abandoned Wonders of the European Union: From Deserted Castles Retrofuturistic Factories: The castle is especially beautiful. I wish I had something this amazing close by. Imagine the wonderful photo opportunities....

Google Gives All SF Homeless Free Voicemail: "A homeless person will be able to call in for his or her messages from any phone. The move by the city and the company would allow someone to be able to fill out a job application, which asks for a call back number."

New Underwear Technology May Devastate U.S. Masculinity: Is it really any worse than underwire bras?

[Hardcore kitty dancing]
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Inversions: Upcoming Dance Performance [Feb. 25th, 2008|02:45 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | okay]
[music |Garbage - Milk]

[Inversions]
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Pieces of Dance, Pieces of Me [Feb. 25th, 2008|01:28 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood | thoughtful]
[music |Puscifer - The Undertaker (Spanish Fly Mix)]

I spent yesterday afternoon listening to and reading porn at an erotica workshop. Next time, I'll have one of my own stories to read. Afterwards, [info]schwartzung attacked me with a javelin, and I cut my finger down to the bone on a chipped plate. Blood was everywhere. I'm still not quite sure how that happened.

I've been listening to Beats Antique's "Trinkit" lately, getting myself prepared for an upcoming dance performance. It's a bit tricky, because I've been assigned this piece to perform to, and it isn't something I find terribly inspiring. So I'm listening to it to death, hoping that something will click. Right now, I only have an idea for two or three small sections of the song. I have to do much better than that. And I still have to pick out a complementary song to dance to. I'm thinking about "Crooked Spoons" by Otep again, but I'm not sure. I'd definitely have to do the Otep song second, because once I dance to that, there's nothing left of me. It just kills me. The last time I performed to it, it took me about a month to recover.

Not this time, but at some point, I really want to dance to the Dry Martini mix of Rev. 22:20 by Puscifer (available here). Yowza....

....

I'm not especially afraid of heights, but this video gives me the willies. Gah....

Spot the 'invisible' men and women in artist's amazing photographs: Interesting exploration of invisibility/camouflage.

People Can't believe I'm single because of my looks: Oh jeeze.

Net admirers pay for breast implants: Ok, I'm not posting this for the reason you might expect. It's because of this statement: "Strathmore is scheduled for breast augmentation on April 10 -- when she will go from a 29A to a 36C cup". How the hell does that work? I can see how she can go from an A to a C, but how is she gaining seven inches around her rib cage? Are they giving her the opposite of liposuction? WTF?

Afghan reporter shocked by trial: Worst headline title, ever. "An Afghan reporter sentenced to death after downloading an article from the internet on women's rights has said his trial lasted just four minutes." Poor fucker....
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Damn Your Eyes [Feb. 19th, 2008|07:11 pm]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[mood | sore]

Friday night was spent with 8 Digital and friends for a jam session/rehearsal. Ostensibly, I was to be interviewing band members, but the environment really wasn't the best for that. I'm sure I'll get more usable information from them in a one-on-one setting. I can't let the world know how offensive they really are! No. I must cushion the impact.

I managed to whirl my poi during the run-through. I'd figured the music would be too slow, but found out the rhythm is conducive to spinning. So depending on the venue, I might be doing some poi. We have shows coming up later this spring. Maybe there will be something sooner, too. I'll let you know as soon as tour dates are settled.

Sunday was spent at the brand new club Z in Toronto. It was [info]schwartzung's inaugural night DJing for This is Heresy: Sadistikal Sundays, and Blue Hour's first time performing. I took some pictures while I was there. You can see them here.

[Blue Hour]

When I first got to the club, I found myself in a brightly lit stairwell. I walked down to the very dark basement, and blinked a few times, trying to get my dark adaption. I could see the silhouette of a man rushing my way. His hand shot out toward me and he pawed at my throat. I was just thinking that maybe I'd have to attempt to lay a beatdown on whoever this was when he said, "Don't I get a hug?"

It was Ward (of H-427). So I hugged him instead of decking him one. Heh....

Sara and I danced most of the night away. We were pretty much the only dancers. We were the only two dancing to Blue Hour, and that's a blooming shame. Folks, if you like a band, show your appreciation! Toronto folks, you need to loosen up. Standing there looking blasé may make you feel goth as fuck, but it does sweet fuck all for the entertainers who are working their arses off for you. And a polite golf clap at the end of a song just won't cut it. Dance, damn your eyes, DANCE!
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Zombie Jock Itch [Jan. 19th, 2008|04:53 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[mood | sick]
[music |8 Digital - Phace Book]

I would have enjoyed last night's Rob Zombie show more if I hadn't been sick and if the place hadn't been populated by asshole jocks. At one point, I had to stop myself from giving in to the almost overwhelming urge to bite a huge gash out of the arsehole in front of me. I don't know where those violent cannibalistic tendencies came from. It must have been the whole zombie motif of the show, I guess. One yahoo was playing high-speed, high-impact bumper cars with the unimpressed people around him. After he smashed into me at full force and sent me reeling to the side, I spun around to see what the fuck he was doing. That was about when [info]schwartzung grabbed and shook him like a terrier would. Heh....

The stage show itself was good. The band has excellent stage presence, and really knows how to fill their space and get the crowd going. But by the end, I found myself wondering when I'd be able to go home and eat the scrumptious chicken stew I'd made earlier that day.

I can console myself in the belief that my next show won't have anything near the same asshole contingent. I'm going to see Henry Rollins again. Yes.

After the show, I ended up staying up until 10:30 the next morning shooting the shit with [info]schwartzung and [info]f00dave (who miraculously kept his pants on for the whole affair).

If you get a chance, and you're on FaceBook, why don't you join the 8 Digital community? 8 Digital is the band I dance with on an official basis. You can also find us on MySpace, although the page needs some work.
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Last Night I Had Laryngitis... [Dec. 15th, 2007|09:20 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[mood | sick]
[music |What What?]

...so it was determined that I must cover Samwell's "What What (In the Butt)."

(Featuring the beatboxing of Ian, the cinematography of [info]f00dave, and the giggling of [info]snowy_kathryn.)

Hold your ears. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

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Shake the Disease [Dec. 12th, 2007|11:59 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[mood | sick]
[music |Mario Lanza - The Donkey Serenade]

Tonight's the night I experiment once again with dancing through asthma. If you're interested in witnessing the spectacle, hie thine arse over to the Rivoli at 8:30.

The artistic director, Sion Irwin-Childs, says:
I would like to invite you to come to a fundraising party at the Rivoli on December 12 and support the Eros, Thanatos & the Avant-Garde Cabaret Series. I will be presenting a showcase of the best performances, performers and films that have been featured at the Eros Cabaret over the past year. The Fundraising Party will be complete with a silent auction, raffles and our amazing house band The Calrizians!

Tickets $15
Doors at 8:30pm
Show Time 9pm

Performers include:
Ballet Espressivo
Olivia Davies
Tracey Norman
Shantell Powell
Elise Rowan
Jannine Sarrinen

Films by: Jesi the Elder,
Ballet Espressivo and more!

Come and win all your Christmas presents!

Raffle Draw:
There will be a total of 25 raffle prizes to be won.
Prizes include dinners for 2, Gift Certificates for goodies including the LCBO, Penguin Music, Pages and Mister Case and many more.. INCLUDING a VIP tour for you and 9 of your best friends of Steamwhistle Brewing valued at $250!

Ticket prices: $10 for one, $20 for three and $50 for ten.
Winning tickets are removed from the draw, increasing your chances of winning!

Silent Auction:
We have fashion items and gift certificates donated by:
Fashion Crimes
Molly Grundy
Riding Academy at the Horse Palace $200 gift certificate
Toronto Argonauts Prize Pack

All money raised will go towards supporting the Eros, Thanatos & the Avant-Garde Cabaret Series.
I won't be wearing the costume I'd intended. I didn't finish it, partially due to just being busy, and partially because I'm conserving my energy. My productivity tends to fall as my oxygen intake decreases.

This whole dancing through my asthma thing seems to happen about a quarter to a third of the time I perform. Instead of letting the disease prevent me from doing my best, I could make it my bitch, turning the disease into a key part of the artistic experience. If I had the capacity, I'd love to hook up some sort of microphone to my lungs, amplifying and distorting the sound of their distress. I'd also like to hook up the sound of my labouring heart as it deals with the ever-decreasing oxygen, using it as the rhythm section of my music. It would be interesting to work with a band who could jam with my heartbeat as the percussion. And then maybe I could use the performance in a fund-raiser for respiratory disease research. Does anyone with the technology want to put something together with me?

In case you're interested, here is the last performance I did while going through a significant asthma attack:

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GWARriors and Cherry Pits [Dec. 5th, 2007|04:18 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[mood | amused]
[music |Natacha Atlas - Just Like a Dream]

[info]real_bethy invited me over for a Hanukkah supper last night, and so I trooped off for latkes, doughnuts, tortellini, Jack Daniels whiskey and other fun treats. We were joined by [info]f00dave, [info]snowy_kathryn, and [info]schwartzung, the latter two of which would be accompanying me to the GWAR show later that night.

I'm sure the average Hanukkah doesn't involve Hitler ejaculating blue spooge all over Kathryn, but this wasn't just Hanukkah. It was GWARnukkah.

I witnessed many strange and wonderful things last night, including the decapitation of George W. (who wears our country like a hat (and whose arterial blood soaked the ravening crowd)), a mad terrorist with a towel on its head, an enormously fat man-thing which sprayed gouts of blue fecal matter across the audience before being flayed down to the bones, and lord knows what else.

The mosh pit was a sea of upraised hands and faces being drenched under gallons of questionable body fluids. I stood back in one of the bar areas watching, all bemused. Kathryn's reaction was not so subdued. Her mouth was stretched agape in brutal amazement, and it wasn't long before [info]schwartzung dragged her into the pit to bust her mosh cherry.

Some time later, she came back to the bar looking worse for wear. She was limping, disheveled, covered with Hitler jizz, and her glasses were badly bent. She was also wearing a beatific smile.

[info]schwartzung showed up shortly afterwards, looked at me, and said, "You're next."

I passed my glasses (and eyesight) to Kathryn, grabbed on to [info]schwartzung's shirt, and away we went into the pit. I lost him at one point, when we were going down the stairs. I had no idea how many steps or how wide they were. Neither could I detect any obstacles, of which there were many. But I somehow made it down there, and [info]schwartzung returned to pull me into the fray.

I was pressed in on all sides, pinned in moving place by a tide of sweat-soaked heaving bodies. Keeping on my feet was a struggle, and it took all my strength and dexterity to squirm my way up closer and closer to the stage. The music was irrelevant. The stage show was irrelevant. I was immersed in a cacophonous din. My mouth was filled with someone's hair. An elbow jammed into my throat. My feet and lower legs were crushed beneath boots. Jettisons of fluid rained down upon me, into my eyes, ears, and mouth. I felt a heavy weight pressing down on my head, and forced my arms up to clear it. A spread-eagled body passed by overhead. A man was jammed up tight behind me, his mouth brushing my ear. "I apologize if I touch you inappropriately," he said. "It's entirely unintentional."

[info]schwartzung was just ahead of me. He turned to scream in my ear, "Are you ok?"

"Fuck, yeah!" I screamed.

And I continued to ride the crowd in a blind haze until [info]schwartzung turned to me one more time and said, "Time to leave. Give me a knee." And then I was dragged up over top of the wave of human cilia, grabbed and groped all the way to the stage, where I was hauled back down to earth by raincoat-clad security, and shoved into a trough where I ran the gauntlet out of the pit. A shirtless man tried to stop me, grabbing at me every which way, but slick with the sweat of many, I slip-squeezed by him and felt my way back to the bar. Kathryn, the now uncloseted metalhead, found me and gave me my glasses, and the word came back into sharp focus.

I was covered in blue.

A few moments later, [info]schwartzung emerged again, grabbed another gulp of beer, and took Erin, yet another pit virgin, into the fray. I sang along to "Maggots" while sipping a nasty strawberry daquiri, and then the show ended abruptly, brought to a sudden close by way of irritating city bylaws. Erin and [info]schwartzung came back to the bar, and he sloshed beer all over her. "Eww!" she said. "My bra is full of beer." She turned to me. "Want to suck some out?"

It tasted like beer at first, but the aftertaste was very not beer. I hope my mouth doesn't get pregnant with Hitler's love child.

And how was your Hannukah?
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Eros, Thanatos & the Avant-Garde: The Cabaret Series [Nov. 12th, 2007|05:04 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | pleased]
[music |Otep - Menocide]

You are invited to attend the Eros Cabaret Gala Fundraiser and Silent Auction on December 12th at the Rivoli. This mega show features the best performers and performances of the entire season.

Tickets $15
Doors 8:30pm
Show: 9pm
December 12 at the Rivoli.

Performers include: Tracey Norman, Donna Greenberg / Ballet Espressivo, Shantell Powell and more.
Stay tuned for more confirmations...
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Dancing with Pain and Ugliness [Nov. 12th, 2007|01:07 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | tired]
[music |Sigur Ros - The Nothing Song]

I'm honoured to have been asked to perform at the 2007 best-of gala show for the Eros/Thanatos Avant-Garde Cabaret at the Rivoli next month. I feel pretty chuffed because the cabaret has been replete with dauntingly skilled and talented dancers. I accepted, and will be dancing at the Riv on December 12, but what will I dance to?

I'm thinking of doing something really hideous and painful to something by Otep. Lately, I've been doing a lot of glam, sinuous stuff, and I want to shatter that all to hell with contraction and distortions.

Now, do I use daggers or not? Hmm....

In other news, I want to take a week-long Butoh workshop with Denise Fujiwara from January 14-18. It's in Toronto, so I will need a place (or several places) to stay during that time. Downtown Toronto folk (or TO folk who live close to the subway), do you have the space to put me up? I don't take much room, and I think I'm a pretty good house guest.
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I Have Much to Report, but No Energy to Do So [Nov. 8th, 2007|08:31 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | exhausted]
[music |traffic]

I'm too tired to write much. But I'm not too tired to show you what happened last night with 8 Digital.

It was hot under those stage lights....

[Dancing with 8 Digital]
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Normalcy STILL Hasn't Ensued [Nov. 8th, 2007|10:59 am]
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood | tired]
[music |8 Digital - Poplife]

Thinking yesterday would be just another day, I biked off to kung fu class. On my way, it started snowing. Biking in the driving wind and snow is not one of my great pleasures in life, but I pressed on. Kung fu class wasn't particularly unusual, and just before I left, I talked about the perils of biking with a couple of my fellow students. Little did I know that I was just setting myself up for something. What would have been obvious foreshadowing in a book or movie just doesn't appear that way in real life.

On the way home, while biking through even heavier wind and rain, I was hit by a U-Haul cube van. I think it was the mirror that hit me. I'm very fucking lucky, because it hit my shoulder straight on from behind while I was pedalling at a good clip. It felt like a sudden, solid shove.

What does it mean that one of my very first thoughts was "I was hit harder at LARP!"?

The truck immediately pulled over, and the elderly couple inside checked to see if I was ok. I was perfectly fine (not even a bruise), and told them so before saying, "Next time, give me more room!" As if there will ever be a next time. Sheesh.

Anyhow, I drove away from the situation with delusions of grandeur. I am INVINCIBLE! After all, I was hit by a U-Haul and simply shrugged it off. How mighty is that?

Later on, I went to my first pole dance class in about a month and a half (I couldn't before because of my work schedule), and was very pleased to see I hadn't forgotten a thing. In fact, I made advances. I can now flip completely upside down with my feet out from the pole. This needs work, admittedly, but went far to exacerbate my delusions of grandeur.

A bit after class, I made my way over to [info]schwartzung's so we could go over the set list for tonight. I'll be dancing with his band 8 Digital this evening. If you're so inclined, come check it out at Clinton's at 693 Bloor St. West in Toronto. I'm not entirely sure what time we're on or how much admission is, but we could be on as early as 8.

Hanging out with the boys is always entertaining. There was pizza. There was bad porn. There was the sudden appearance of Derek wearing underwear on top of his pants. There was much profanity. James was there making weapons. He finished making a kick-ass mace out of foam that I'm hoping I get the opportunity to wield. When I left, he was working on a foam frying pan for [info]snowy_kathryn's character. She's going to be playing a cook, and a frying pan would be the ideal weapon. I'm pretty sure she'll also be getting a couple of cleavers, too.

So now I'll give you a bit of a link dump before I finish my preparations for the day. Enjoy!

Traffic Lights Replaced by ... Courtesy?: Because sometimes anarchy makes life less nasty, brutish, and short.

Would You Eat This Cake?: My answer is a resounding YES!

Condom Song: Sort of like a Sesame Street episode for kids. Oh, those crazy Indians!

Public Harm Announcement Galleries: The talented crew at Worth 1000 did it again....

Twin girl with eight limbs to have surgery: She's the cutest spider baby you ever did see! I wonder if Vishnu is the father.... Sometimes I think India gets all of the best birth defects.
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